October 15, 2010
I am writing to comment on the proposal to allow Key Employees to invest in family offices. First of all, let me say that I am shocked by the impudent tone of your request for comment. A businessman of my calibre must never be addressed in such a manner. I will have you know, distinguished members of the Commission, that I am a fifth generation graduate of Harvard, and that if any professor had dared to speak to me in such a contemptuous fashion our family would have kicked him into the Yard so quickly your head would spin. Before proceeding any further, let us make one thing very clear: you are not in charge of us, we are in charge of you.
Turning now to the more susbtantive matter of allowing Key Employees to invest in family offices, I find the matter completely laughable. Do you mean to suggest that our butler and maid should be allowed to sully our family office with their pitiful wages? I assure you, by the time sun sets on payday they will have most likely squandered their meagre funds on alcohol and other such vulgar pastimes. Do you really suppose that these mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragging troglodytes have the cranial capacity to make sound investment decisions? I believe you have erred in mistaking the hired help for genuine Americans.