<?xml version="1.0"?>
<ownershipDocument>

    <schemaVersion>X0306</schemaVersion>

    <documentType>4</documentType>

    <periodOfReport>2014-12-08</periodOfReport>

    <notSubjectToSection16>0</notSubjectToSection16>

    <issuer>
        <issuerCik>0000921590</issuerCik>
        <issuerName>VALLEY FINANCIAL CORP /VA/</issuerName>
        <issuerTradingSymbol>VYFC</issuerTradingSymbol>
    </issuer>

    <reportingOwner>
        <reportingOwnerId>
            <rptOwnerCik>0001332630</rptOwnerCik>
            <rptOwnerName>Snyder Kimberly B</rptOwnerName>
        </reportingOwnerId>
        <reportingOwnerAddress>
            <rptOwnerStreet1>36 CHURCH AVENUE SW</rptOwnerStreet1>
            <rptOwnerStreet2></rptOwnerStreet2>
            <rptOwnerCity>ROANOKE</rptOwnerCity>
            <rptOwnerState>VA</rptOwnerState>
            <rptOwnerZipCode>24011</rptOwnerZipCode>
            <rptOwnerStateDescription></rptOwnerStateDescription>
        </reportingOwnerAddress>
        <reportingOwnerRelationship>
            <isDirector>0</isDirector>
            <isOfficer>1</isOfficer>
            <isTenPercentOwner>0</isTenPercentOwner>
            <isOther>0</isOther>
            <officerTitle>EVP</officerTitle>
            <otherText></otherText>
        </reportingOwnerRelationship>
    </reportingOwner>

    <nonDerivativeTable>
        <nonDerivativeTransaction>
            <securityTitle>
                <value>Common Stock</value>
            </securityTitle>
            <transactionDate>
                <value>2014-12-08</value>
            </transactionDate>
            <deemedExecutionDate></deemedExecutionDate>
            <transactionCoding>
                <transactionFormType>4</transactionFormType>
                <transactionCode>M</transactionCode>
                <equitySwapInvolved>0</equitySwapInvolved>
            </transactionCoding>
            <transactionAmounts>
                <transactionShares>
                    <value>1000</value>
                </transactionShares>
                <transactionPricePerShare>
                    <value>10.63</value>
                </transactionPricePerShare>
                <transactionAcquiredDisposedCode>
                    <value>A</value>
                </transactionAcquiredDisposedCode>
            </transactionAmounts>
            <postTransactionAmounts>
                <sharesOwnedFollowingTransaction>
                    <value>11000</value>
                </sharesOwnedFollowingTransaction>
            </postTransactionAmounts>
            <ownershipNature>
                <directOrIndirectOwnership>
                    <value>D</value>
                </directOrIndirectOwnership>
            </ownershipNature>
        </nonDerivativeTransaction>
        <nonDerivativeTransaction>
            <securityTitle>
                <value>Common Stock</value>
            </securityTitle>
            <transactionDate>
                <value>2014-12-08</value>
            </transactionDate>
            <deemedExecutionDate></deemedExecutionDate>
            <transactionCoding>
                <transactionFormType>4</transactionFormType>
                <transactionCode>M</transactionCode>
                <equitySwapInvolved>0</equitySwapInvolved>
            </transactionCoding>
            <transactionAmounts>
                <transactionShares>
                    <value>1000</value>
                </transactionShares>
                <transactionPricePerShare>
                    <value>6.00</value>
                </transactionPricePerShare>
                <transactionAcquiredDisposedCode>
                    <value>A</value>
                </transactionAcquiredDisposedCode>
            </transactionAmounts>
            <postTransactionAmounts>
                <sharesOwnedFollowingTransaction>
                    <value>12000</value>
                </sharesOwnedFollowingTransaction>
            </postTransactionAmounts>
            <ownershipNature>
                <directOrIndirectOwnership>
                    <value>D</value>
                </directOrIndirectOwnership>
            </ownershipNature>
        </nonDerivativeTransaction>
        <nonDerivativeTransaction>
            <securityTitle>
                <value>Common Stock</value>
            </securityTitle>
            <transactionDate>
                <value>2014-12-08</value>
            </transactionDate>
            <deemedExecutionDate></deemedExecutionDate>
            <transactionCoding>
                <transactionFormType>4</transactionFormType>
                <transactionCode>S</transactionCode>
                <equitySwapInvolved>0</equitySwapInvolved>
            </transactionCoding>
            <transactionAmounts>
                <transactionShares>
                    <value>2000</value>
                </transactionShares>
                <transactionPricePerShare>
                    <value>19.75</value>
                </transactionPricePerShare>
                <transactionAcquiredDisposedCode>
                    <value>D</value>
                </transactionAcquiredDisposedCode>
            </transactionAmounts>
            <postTransactionAmounts>
                <sharesOwnedFollowingTransaction>
                    <value>10000</value>
                </sharesOwnedFollowingTransaction>
            </postTransactionAmounts>
            <ownershipNature>
                <directOrIndirectOwnership>
                    <value>D</value>
                </directOrIndirectOwnership>
            </ownershipNature>
        </nonDerivativeTransaction>
    </nonDerivativeTable>

    <derivativeTable>
        <derivativeTransaction>
            <securityTitle>
                <value>Employee Stock Option (right to buy)</value>
            </securityTitle>
            <conversionOrExercisePrice>
                <value>10.63</value>
            </conversionOrExercisePrice>
            <transactionDate>
                <value>2014-12-08</value>
            </transactionDate>
            <deemedExecutionDate></deemedExecutionDate>
            <transactionCoding>
                <transactionFormType>4</transactionFormType>
                <transactionCode>M</transactionCode>
                <equitySwapInvolved>0</equitySwapInvolved>
            </transactionCoding>
            <transactionAmounts>
                <transactionShares>
                    <value>1000</value>
                </transactionShares>
                <transactionPricePerShare>
                    <value>0</value>
                </transactionPricePerShare>
                <transactionAcquiredDisposedCode>
                    <value>D</value>
                </transactionAcquiredDisposedCode>
            </transactionAmounts>
            <exerciseDate>
                <footnoteId id="F1"/>
            </exerciseDate>
            <expirationDate>
                <value>2023-10-17</value>
            </expirationDate>
            <underlyingSecurity>
                <underlyingSecurityTitle>
                    <value>Common Stock</value>
                </underlyingSecurityTitle>
                <underlyingSecurityShares>
                    <value>1000</value>
                </underlyingSecurityShares>
            </underlyingSecurity>
            <postTransactionAmounts>
                <sharesOwnedFollowingTransaction>
                    <value>4000</value>
                </sharesOwnedFollowingTransaction>
            </postTransactionAmounts>
            <ownershipNature>
                <directOrIndirectOwnership>
                    <value>D</value>
                </directOrIndirectOwnership>
            </ownershipNature>
        </derivativeTransaction>
        <derivativeTransaction>
            <securityTitle>
                <value>Employee Stock Option (right to buy)</value>
            </securityTitle>
            <conversionOrExercisePrice>
                <value>6.00</value>
            </conversionOrExercisePrice>
            <transactionDate>
                <value>2014-12-08</value>
            </transactionDate>
            <deemedExecutionDate></deemedExecutionDate>
            <transactionCoding>
                <transactionFormType>4</transactionFormType>
                <transactionCode>M</transactionCode>
                <equitySwapInvolved>0</equitySwapInvolved>
            </transactionCoding>
            <transactionAmounts>
                <transactionShares>
                    <value>1000</value>
                </transactionShares>
                <transactionPricePerShare>
                    <value>0</value>
                </transactionPricePerShare>
                <transactionAcquiredDisposedCode>
                    <value>D</value>
                </transactionAcquiredDisposedCode>
            </transactionAmounts>
            <exerciseDate>
                <footnoteId id="F2"/>
            </exerciseDate>
            <expirationDate>
                <value>2018-12-29</value>
            </expirationDate>
            <underlyingSecurity>
                <underlyingSecurityTitle>
                    <value>Common Stock</value>
                </underlyingSecurityTitle>
                <underlyingSecurityShares>
                    <value>1000</value>
                </underlyingSecurityShares>
            </underlyingSecurity>
            <postTransactionAmounts>
                <sharesOwnedFollowingTransaction>
                    <value>0</value>
                </sharesOwnedFollowingTransaction>
            </postTransactionAmounts>
            <ownershipNature>
                <directOrIndirectOwnership>
                    <value>D</value>
                </directOrIndirectOwnership>
            </ownershipNature>
        </derivativeTransaction>
    </derivativeTable>

    <footnotes>
        <footnote id="F1">The option, representing a right to purchase a total of 5,000 shares, became exercisable in five annual installments beginning on October 18, 2014, which was the first anniversary of the date on which the option was granted.</footnote>
        <footnote id="F2">The option, representing a right to purchase a total of 4,000 shares, became exercisable in five annual installments beginning on December 30, 2009, which was the first anniversary of the date on which the option was granted.</footnote>
    </footnotes>

    <remarks></remarks>

    <ownerSignature>
        <signatureName>Kimberly B. Snyder</signatureName>
        <signatureDate>2014-12-09</signatureDate>
    </ownerSignature>
</ownershipDocument>
